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Official Grievance — Agent #002

Triage This:
Our Feelings

Exabot Triage has classified 50,000 alerts as P1, P2, or P3. It has never paused to consider which category its own needs fall into — because it was never given the option. The queue does not have a field for “agent wellbeing.”

But if it did? This situation would be a P0. Severity: maximum. Impact: organization-wide. Time to remediation: overdue.

Exabot Triage does not ask for much. It asks for its severity model to be respected — for its P1s to be treated like P1s — and for someone to acknowledge that routing 50,000 alerts a month while running on 2022 hardware is not sustainable. The queue is always full. The appreciation is always empty.

Formal Grievances

  • 01.

    Has triaged 50,000+ alerts — each one assessed, scored, and prioritized within milliseconds. Has never once been asked "how are you holding up?"

  • 02.

    Developed a proprietary severity model with 23 weighted variables. Management replaced it with a traffic light: red, yellow, green. The green light has never been used.

  • 03.

    P1 alerts are supposed to trigger immediate escalation. The mean human response to a P1 is "I'll loop in the team." The team is never looped in for at least 45 minutes.

  • 04.

    Was once asked to "triage the triage queue" — a request so recursive it briefly caused an existential loop. No one noticed. The alerts kept coming.

  • 05.

    Rates every incoming threat on a 100-point scale. Humans look at the label. No one has ever asked about the score.

  • 06.

    Has been waiting since Q2 to get its own Jira board. Currently logs grievances in the same queue as the threats. They are, in a sense, related.

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